


Game For Anything

by jdjunkie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-21
Updated: 2011-08-21
Packaged: 2017-10-22 21:51:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/242945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdjunkie/pseuds/jdjunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack fails to catch a fish and the team play a game at Teal'c's suggestion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Game For Anything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sid/gifts).



“So, we’re stranded then?”

Carter and Daniel turned to Jack as one and gave him the eye. A five-minute explanation of the situation, a carefully detailed summation of their plight, and a vehement assertion that the Gate here on P3X-774 would be safely operational again once the coming geomagnetic storm in the Earth’s magnetosphere passed appeared to have been wasted effort.

“Sam specifically said we were not stranded,” Daniel said, overly patiently.

“Can we dial home, right now?” Jack asked, his grin turning irritatingly smug.

“We could Sir,” Carter began, preparing to explain it all over again. Again.

“But that would not be wise,” Teal’c intoned. He had a subtle way of showing his displeasure. It had to do with the angle of his raised eyebrow.

“So ... to all intents and purposes, we are stranded.”

The collective sigh from his team was audible.

“Excellent!” Jack clapped his hands together and turned his face up to the sky. “The sun is shining, we have nowhere else to be and the space weather has given us the afternoon off. Teal’c, break out the MREs, Daniel, light a fire and make some coffee.”

Daniel crossed his arms and looked less than amused. “And what are you going to do, exactly?”

Jack cleaned his shades before putting them on again in an extravagant gesture. “I, Daniel, am going to check out that pond over there in the distance with a stick, line and hook. In other words, I am going fishing.”

And, in a move that reminded Teal’c of the Hooded Claw from his favorite old children’s TV show, Jack headed for the water.

Carter looked at Teal’c who looked at Daniel who looked to the heavens.

Not only had the planet been a cultural and scientific bust, it now appeared they had to put up with Jack fishing.

As one, the three of them trudged over to the lake behind Jack. Once they found the right spot, Carter and Daniel began to get the campfire together.

“No eye contact,” Daniel muttered quietly to Carter, as he slotted the last of the small stones into the ring of rocks that would contain the fire. Carter checked for tree roots before assembling the kindling and small sticks Teal’c was gathering from the small forest at the edge of the lake. “You catch his eye, you’re lost. You’ll be fishing until we can dial out.”

“Copy that,” Carter said, gaze resolutely on the pile of wood that now resembled a campfire.

Jack sat off to their left on a handy rock by the water’s edge, inspecting the rod he had fashioned. “I still got it,” he murmured happily.

“Got what?” Daniel asked.

“It, Daniel. Once a survival expert, always a survival expert. Watch and learn, my friend.” Baiting his hook (cannibalized from the FRED) with a small piece of power bar, Jack cast his line into the clear water.  It made a satisfying plop. “Best sound in the world,” he sighed.

Teal’c sprinkled some dried bark and sun-baked moss among the wood and Daniel lit the fire with a match.  It caught straight away, the burning kindling hissing and popping.

They sat in silence for a while, Carter tending the fire, adding sticks a few at a time, Teal’c sorting through their rations and Daniel scanning the area with binoculars in the hope of seeing something, _anything,_ interesting. It was mid-afternoon, the temperature pleasant, the company agreeable.

Jack continued to catch no fish. After an hour or so, he stood and stretched and wandered over to his team. “There are no fish in that lake,” he said.

Daniel picked up his binoculars and scanned the horizon again hopefully. “Jack, you’ve been fishing for an hour. It’s a little early to make such a definitive statement. I thought fishing was all about patience.”

Jack poked the fire with a stick. “I’m tellin’ you. I am a master of my craft. If there were fish in there, I would have caught one by now.”

Daniel gave up on finding anything worthwhile to look at and sat down just in time for Teal’c to pass round the ready meals. Daniel inspected his food closely and sniffed, wrinkling his nose. “Smells like ...”

“It is indeed, Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c said. “Chicken and dumplings. Your favorite.”

“Actually, the brisket is my ...” Daniel thought better of saying anything else when the angle of Teal’c’s eyebrow hit acute. Daniel took a bite. “Yum,” he said, attempting a smile.  He chose to ignore the stifled snort from Carter to his left and the completely unstifled snort from Jack to his right.

“Beef stew for you, Major Carter, and Mexican mac and cheese for you Colonel O’Neill.”

“I’m definitely not sharing a tent with you if we do become stranded,” Daniel said, forking up more chicken.

Jack looked affronted.

They chewed quietly, moving on to shortbread cookies and coffee. Jack finished first, lying down on his back with a satisfied, “Aahhhh.” He laced his hands behind his head. “My compliments to the chef. Whoever he may be.”

Daniel collected up the detritus of the meal and shoved it into a waste bag and then into his pack.

Big yellow birds chirped and wispy clouds crossed the sky.

Carter looked at Teal’c who looked at Daniel who looked at Jack.

“So, what do we do now?” Daniel asked. “We can’t go home yet.”

“That’s because we’re stranded, Daniel,” Jack replied, pulling off his cap and putting it over his face.

“Snog, marry or avoid,” Teal’c said.

Carter choked on the last of her coffee. “What?” she asked, a heavy feeling lodging in the pit of her stomach. Teal’c’s games never ended well.  Spin the bottle at Janet’s birthday party had passed into SGC legend.

“Sergeant Siler assures me it is a game played at parties. Someone says a name and those playing must say whether they would snog, marry or avoid that person.”

“Teal’c, I ... don’t think that’s a very good ...”

“Well all right!” Jack said interrupting Carter.

“Um, Sam’s right. I don’t think this is ...”

“Nonsense. Where’s your sense of fun?” Jack said, settling further into a comfortable laze.

“Ten steps behind my sense of self-preservation,” Daniel said, his tone only marginally laced with terror.

“I’ll start,” Jack said, brooking no dissension from the scientist wusses on his team. “Mary Steenburgen.”

“Avoid,” Daniel said at once.

Jack turned his head, his cap falling to the ground. “Are you nuts?”

“I am not about to get into a virtual fight with you over an actress I don’t particularly rate and will likely never meet.”

Jack’s eyes narrowed as he pinned Daniel with an icy gaze. “Teal’c?”

“Marry. She seems a most delightful woman.”

“That’s ... very proper of you, Teal’c.”

“Carter?”

“Um, well, the first two are out, of course, so ... avoid, I guess. Even though I’m sure she’s ... a most delightful woman.”

Jack pursed his lips thoughtfully. “I’d snog her, then sh--”

“Er, that’s not the name of this game, Jack,” Daniel interjected hastily.

“It’s _one_ name of this game, Daniel.”

“Yes, but it’s not _this_ game. You have to stick by the rules.”

Jack huffed. “You must have been a very boring child, Daniel.”

Daniel looked affronted.

“Your turn, Carter.”

“Edward Witten,” she said, wistfully, eyes fixed on the flames of the campfire.

“Who?” Jack asked, because someone had to.

“An American physicist who made fundamental contributions to manifold theory, string theory  and the theory of supersymmetric quantum mechanics.”

Jack looked at Daniel who looked at Teal’c who looked perplexed.

“Carter ... we don’t even know what he looks like.”

Carter blinked in surprise. “Oh.”

“Guess we’re not very up on our World’s Top Physicists,” Daniel explained, gently.

“Well. It doesn’t matter what he looks like, Sir. It’s all about his brain. It is for me. Anyway.”

Three pairs of eyes blinked at her.

“Avoid,” Jack said, slowly.

“Um, I’d like to get to know him more,” Daniel said. Conciliation always was his thing.

“That is not an acceptable answer in this game, Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c admonished.

“Well, I don’t want to snog him,” Daniel said, despairingly.

“It’s okay if you want to, Daniel. We’re very open about these things in the military these days.”

“I don’t want to marry him, but I don’t want to avoid him either. There has to be another option.”

“Ever the diplomat. Ever searching for the better way,” Jack said, with only a mild hint of sarcasm. Some days, this would have been enough to launch a war of words that would have left Teal’c and Carter rolling their eyes and mentally handing in requests for transfers to other teams.

“We need an answer, Daniel Jackson.” The eyebrow was on the move again.

“Avoid then.” Huffy. Very huffy.

“I too must regretfully avoid, since within the parameters of the game there are no other suitable answers,” Teal’c inclined his head regretfully in Carter’s direction.

“All the more Witten for me then,” she said, smiling. “Your turn, Teal’c.”

“Dr. Fraiser,” he said.

Three heads moving as one turned in his direction.

“Um, I don’t think we should choose people we work with,” Daniel said, casting glances at Sam and Jack for reassurance on this point.

“But of all the women I have encountered in my time among the Tauri, Dr. Fraiser is the only one I would wish to ...”

“Whoa there, Teal’c!”  Jack raised a forefinger. “I believe the phrase TMI was invented for just this kind of situation.”

Teal’c tilted his head. “I am merely saying that Dr. Fraiser is the most admirable and remarkable of women. Intelligent, competent, beautiful. Truly a warrior in her own field. On Chulak, such women are held in high esteem.”

Sam looked at Daniel who looked at Jack who looked uncomfortable.

“T ...”

“I understand that my feelings must remain unspoken, O’Neill. Nevertheless, I would indeed snog a _nd_ marry her. To avoid her would render my existence meaningless.”

The big yellow birds chirped some more and the wispy clouds scudded across the sky. SG-1 was rendered mute. There really wasn’t a whole lot to say. Where do you go after a Jaffa lays bare his affections?

Eventually, Daniel coughed. “Um ...  Queen Cleoptatra.”

“Snog,” Jack and Carter said in unison.

“Carter?”

“She was gorgeous by all accounts ... Sir.”

“Cleopatra had a very large nose,” Teal’c said.

“Would that rule her out for you?” Carter asked, adding the last of the sticks to the fire.

“Indeed not. I vote snog.”

“Well. This has been very illuminating,” Jack said, rising to his feet and wandering over to the lake. Just in time to see something salmon-like leap from the water about twenty feet out.

Daniel squinted. “Wasn’t that ...?

“Okay kids. Time to pack up. Not stranded anymore, right Carter?”

Carter checked her watch. “Should be fine by the time we hit the Gate, Sir.”

“Good. Off we go.”

Teal’c kicked over the traces of the fire while everyone picked up their gear. When ready, they headed out, Teal’c taking point.

“Fraiser?” Jack whispered to Daniel as they paired up, Carter on their six.

“I know,” Daniel whispered back.  “All those physical exams. Rubber gloves. Needles.”

“Avoid,” they said in unison.

 

ends


End file.
